The Secret To Staying Young

Last week I had a doctor's appointment, and the doc casually asked how old I was. In a Homer Simpson thought-bubble moment, I had 4 voices chime in, one right after another. An experience I can't recall having had in the past.

Voice One: Just say, "I don't know."

Voice Two (urgently): Don't say, "I don't know", Don't say, "I don't know", Don't say, I don't know"

Voice Three: Everyone relax. Just take a second and do the math. This is easy.

Voice Four: There's no time! Just say a number. I'm saying number.

And before I knew it, I blurted out 35. The doctor seemed satisfied and so did the committee in my head.

Later that night, I relayed part of this story to Shira. Her response: You idiot, you're 37! Had I done the math, I would have arrived at 38.

So there it is, the secret to staying young: complete ignorance.

Now my mom's policy of reporting her age as 39 makes a heck of a lot more sense.