say I have a cold. Argh.
And, because I'm so stubborn, and can't keep myself from coming to work,
I've probably spread it around the entire office.
The only good news is that according to My Mom's Sickness Litmus Test, I
have a viral, not bacterial infection. My Mom's test is based on the
fact that my mucus is clear, not green. Mom's know everything. (It
doesn't hurt that she has a Master's in micro-biology either.)
--Ben
Ben, that many kleenex? Do yourself a favor and spend the extra dollar for the kleenex with aloe.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good idea.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, the company actually buys the fancy Anti-Viral kleenex (is there such a thing?) and it's fairly soft.
Still, the Aloe one is a good idea...
Who knew that a guy who says Kick Ass instead of Kick Butt would know anything about Aloe. You going soft on me?
Hey, even tough guys get sick some times (for the record, tough guys like three matzah balls, not just two in their soup when their sick). Oh, and the anti-viral kleenex are basically worthless, except for allowing normal viruses, that don't normally affect you, to be selected for (evolve) more potent versions not susceptable to our average drugs. Basically, your making your kids diseases harder to treat every time you blow your nose. How Does THAT make you feel?
ReplyDeleteAhh that's cool... your company buys you tissues. If you do decide to splurge on Aloe ones, though, get a Family size box. The reason you're going through 4 boxes in a day is because you're using the expensive, tiny boxes with pretty designs on them.
ReplyDeleteWhen you have chronic sinus issues like me, you've gotta buy the economy bundle packs of family-size boxes. :)
Also, multiple, independent doctors (2-3 family practitioners, 1 pediatrician, and 1 ear-nose-and-throat specialist) have told me that your mom is wrong. Yes, they all specifically mentioned "Ben's mom", and called the school where she got her Masters a "diploma mill".
But I digress... The point is, I used to believe the "if the mucus green, it must be a bacterial infection" thing. But in recent years, I've learned (or been misinformed by several doctors) that viral infections can do that too.
Maybe the viruses are evolving, thanks to *your* overuse of Anti-Viral tissues, and have picked up some bacterial traits! My 3 sick kids say "Thanks, Ben!"
:-)
ReplyDeleteMy mom's rule wasn't so much: "if it's green it's bacterial, and not viral" but "if it's clear, it's not bacterial, so you're not that sick, so suck it up."
What do you think your doctors would think about that advice?
Frankly, kids have too easy these days - if we can throw a few anti-viral resistant viruses at them, they'll be all the better for it.
Okay, your clarification makes your mom's ideas fall into line with my doctors. My doctors would all like to issue their sincerest apologies to your mom for their earlier statements about her ideas and her alma mater. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, our kids have so many things available to kill bacteria today, so they should be grateful. If they're concerned about the super-bugs, they'd better get to work on building better antibacterial/antiviral solutions.